More stuff to remember

     So after reading my last blog and thinking back on all that has happened over the past two and a half months I thought of some stuff I didn't include. Mostly all the support and love from friends and family is what I want to remember. I love the fact that my family (and I include my work family in this) They came up with a t-shirt to show their support, bracelets for Team Tracy, tons of cards, texts, phone calls, Facebook messages. It's just crazy! Makes me tear up just thinking about the amount of people who think about, pray for and support me each day! My best friend Diana has been there for me each and every day. Coming over at least once a week, taking me anywhere I need to go, walking at Dunbar Cave when it's nice out, bringing the world's best chocolate chip cookies, and so much more! Diana we've been friends now for over 18 years!! You are my bestest bud and we have been through  so much together and I am so thankful everyday to have you in my life. My Aunt Donna sending me cards and notes of encouragement at least once a week. It's nice to get that continued reassurance that someone is still thinking of you and praying for you. Not that I want everyone to start sending me stuff, please don't, I know you all care about and support me without the reminders. It's just nice to get them now and then. Michelle, you have also been there for me every step of the way. You pick me up when I'm down, let me whine and then tell me it's time to move on, make me get out of the house even on days I might not really want to, take me shopping so we can have girl time, send me cute and funny cards every so often. Thank you so much for all your care and concern for me! Marty Pierce, I couldn't ask for a better husband. I know this whole thing has you very stressed out but you have been wonderful! Attending to any of my many needs, making sure I'm eating when I can, letting me have time to myself when I need it, being there when I need you! I love you!! There are many others that have been there for me and I hate to leave anyone out but I don't want to make this blog super long to read either.  
     So let's talk about what this chemo is doing to me. So far I have lost about 30 pounds! That is combined effect of surgery and not being able to eat for 9 days and the chemo which leaves you feeling sick to your stomach a lot of the time. The first round of chemo had me losing 8 pounds between my treatment on Monday and going back Wednesday to have my pump removed. After treatment 2 my hair started falling out. I had gobs of hair in my shower and every time I took one. I was worried even though they told me it would thin but I shouldn't actually lose my hair. So I have lost a bunch of hair but luckily for me I had a lot of hair to start with. My hair dresser says I am just now at normal people hair stage.  I decided to get it cut and colored-hey if I'm going down I'm gonna do it in style! I feel on a daily basis that I'm pregnant again. Not throwing up or anything just that constant feeling of nothing looks or sounds good to eat. After treatment 3 I found out my white blood cell count was low so I had to get a shot of Neulasta to increase the white blood cell production. I was afraid of the side effects of this but seemed to not be to bothered by it...until a week later. I had the bone and joint pain they said I would have, it was terrible and I talked about in the last blog so I'm not going to go over it again. Then I went this Monday to do treatment #4, I was so excited to be 1/3 of the way through! But low and behold I got there they drew blood from my port as they always do before chemo starts and I was told my platelets were low so they were putting off chemo for a week. So now I have to go back this coming Monday to do chemo and hopefully my platelets will be up so we can get back on track.  I think that's got us up to date now.
If you are interested in Team Tracy t-shirts you can email tami.lightner@cmcss.net. They are $15 and I have pictures below.

Life with Cancer

  So I decided I needed to go back and write down all the things I want to make sure I don't forget about living with cancer so far. I should start at the beginning...during the time I was in the hospital I received so many flowers and cards and visitors I can't even begin to thank all the people that did these things for me. Luckily this was all written down because I'm afraid I was a little out of it for most of my time while there. Not just because of the drugs they had me on but also because I was in a state of complete shock at the possibility and then confirmation of the Big C! When people came into my room they said it was like a florist because I had so many flowers. I also have to say the nurses and doctors I saw when I was in the step down unit at Gateway were FABULOUS!! I would like to think it was my charming personality that drew them to my room but I think it was the fact that I was probably the youngest person in the unit and therefore closest to their age and life experiences. All in all I would say my experience at the Gateway was very good, which I'm not going to lie, surprised me!
     Finally after 9 days at the hospital I got to come home. Yay! There's no place like home, and the comfort of your own bed! Had a couple people stop by to say "Hi!" but mostly Marty and the boys did a great job taking care of me. Marty has really been wonderful through all this, I know it is stressing him out but he has really been there for anything I need during this time. My Mom has also been fabulous through all this. Checking on me often to see if I need anything, coming over on the weekends to clean my house for me, doing anything I asked of her. If you see or talk to them let them know it's going to be ok. I have heard from several people that it's harder for loved ones to go through all this than it is for the cancer patient and seeing all the stress in them makes me think that must be true.
     Wacky Walsh Women's Weekend- Got to fly to Detroit with my Mom for a fabulous weekend with family. If you didn't know my Mom has 12 brothers and sisters so when I say, visit with family, I mean a lot of family! My Aunt Janet picked us up at the airport and we went to my Uncle Tim's house, that's where the party was. So we got to stay there and then my cousin Katie and her daughter Izzy showed up, yay the party could start now!! As the weekend went on I got to see so many family members that I haven't seen in such a long time. It was great! Of course it was a women's weekend so I got to see all my female aunts and cousins but we decided that on Sunday afternoon the guys could come visit too. So then I got to see some of my uncles and male cousins. It was an awesome weekend with some awesome people!!
     My first chemo treatment was pretty harsh. I was not expecting that since I had heard from so many people the first one or two won't be that bad. Maybe it's because my cancer was stage 3 and so I had drugs that were more potent or maybe it was just the type of drugs I have but it wiped me out after that first round. I was in bed all day for at least 3 or 4 days after that first treatment. I felt so nauseous even with the drugs to help with that. Felt weak and just drained after that first one, maybe it had something to do with the fact that between Monday when I had the first chemo and Wednesday when I went back to have the pump removed I had lost 8 pounds! So of course by the time I got better it was time for round 2. This round happened to be when the boys were on spring break from school so I had them home to take care of me and Marty got to go to work this week. Surprisingly this time wasn't as bad as the first time. Not anywhere near the amount of nausea and I felt kinda of weak for a day or two but then things pretty much got back to normal. So this time I had about a week and a half of good days! Yay! That was nice considering what last time had been like. The second week I actually went and had lunch with Marty one day at work and went out to Ft. Campbell one day to have lunch with Mom. It was pretty good! The third round of chemo was about the same as the second except this time when I went back to have the pump removed I had to get the Neulasta shot. It had some side effects I wasn't looking forward to but luckily for me I didn't get any of them. Oh wait...yes I did but it was a week later! So half way through what was supposed to be my good week I started having some really bad bone and joint pains. It wasn't funny at the time but looking back now I think I looked like a crazy woman when this happened. It started off Wednesday morning and my back just hurt, ok not my back my spine hurt, all the way from my tail bone to my neck. As the day went on the pain got a little worse and moved into my hip bones, about 3 I took some Advil to see if that would help any, no such luck! By the time Marty got home from work I was crying and trying to get in my pajamas and get in bed and find my good drugs, the ones they gave me after surgery that I hadn't taken since I'd been home from the hospital. So here's where I looked crazy. I'm crying and looking downstairs, upstairs all over saying I need those drugs, where are my drugs, I can't find my drugs. At the time of course all my boys are running around asking what they can do to help and I just wanted the drugs I couldn't find. Poor boys! I finally found them and took some and got in bed. About half an hour later the pain had subsided enough that I wasn't crying anymore but it still hurt and then I fell asleep. Woke up about two hours later and took some more drugs before falling asleep again for the night. Slept until 10:00 the next morning! Felt very nauseous that day but not so much of the pain that I had the day before. Thursday I went to school and had lunch with all the teachers, it was nice to see everyone again! So that catches you up to today. I have chemo again on Monday and I'll write again after that treatment to keep everyone up to date on how things are going.
     So now the doctor appts are going and things are kind of getting on a "normal" routine and we start going about our day to day lives. Some weeks are better than others, some days are better than others. I'm not going to lie there have been a few times when I sat and thought, and cried, wondering if this is going to be the end? If I'll get to see my boys grow up, graduate, get married, have grandkids, but mostly I try to stay away from thoughts like that. I know I have so many people praying for me and so many angels in heaven watching over me and God's plan is what's in control now not me. So I try to think positive, happy thoughts, enjoy what I have right now and not worry about the future. None of us is promised tomorrow, cancer patient or not! Thank you all so much for all your thoughts and prayers, keep up all the prayers remember when you see me I may look fine but this battle won't be over for quite a while and prayer works! It has to! Look at me, look how good I'm doing, look at the positive attitude I'm living with, that is all because of prayer so keep up the good work prayer warriors!
   

Wow, I really need to get better at this!

     Well in my last blog I said I needed to blog more often and now look at me. Almost a month out and I haven't blogged! Urrgghh!
     So let's spend a minute or two catching up. I had my 2nd round of chemo on March 24th. It was not nearly as bad as that first round. Way less nausea this time around, felt better much sooner, was out of bed on the day after which did not happen after the first round. Even went to Opry Mills and did some shopping with Brandi and Michelle on Friday! Mom took me shopping Saturday and got me 2 new spring outfits that actually fit me! Thanks Mom!! The next week I felt almost normal! Had lunch with Marty one day, went out to Ft. Campbell and had lunch with Mom one day, went to school and got to see some friends and co-workers, got my hair cut and colored--It was a good week!
     So now we're up to April 7th and it's time for chemo again. This round went about the same as last time. I felt the tingly feeling in my hands, feet and mouth before I was even out of the doctors office this time so I was worried that sensitivity was going to hit me hard. Came home and was practically falling asleep on the couch so I went up to bed, my legs were so sore and tingly going up those steps! I was really afraid Tuesday was not going to be good. But... Tuesday morning came and although I still had some tingling in my legs it didn't seem to be as bad as last time, also my throat didn't seem to hurt as much as last time, Yay!! While at the doctors office for chemo Monday the doctor told me that my white blood cell count was very low and when I came back on Wednesday to have my pump removed I would be getting a shot of something called Neulasta. It gets your body to go into rapid production mode of making white blood cells. The most common side effect of this is bone pain, I'm hoping I'll get lucky and not have to much of that, especially since the doctor asked me if I had something stronger that Extra Strength Tylenol at home and I told him I still had some pain killers from the surgery and he said good, take them if you need them. I'm going to really try to do better keeping up with this maybe next time it won't be so long between posts. Thanks for being a part of this journey with me!